I've never been excellent in the ...kitchen. Cooking to me is the necessary evil that comes before hearty and happy consumption. That, and I miss my mother the most when I'm cooking. I think it's because I can't call her every half second for emergency help such as deciphering odd ingredients (scallions?! helloooo, they're called green onions!) or for mathematical help when doubling a recipe (what is 2/3 times two?).
My college roommates have plenty of disaster stories they could share: like the time I forgot to oil the pan and 80% of dinner was barnacle-like-fastened to the Pyrex dish. We called them 'Bottomless Enchiladas' but quickly changed it to the more edgy: 'Topless Enchiladas'; that title still gives me the giggles.
Another time I decided to make my mother's vegetable soup that both my sisters claimed was "as easy as pie" (like any of us have ever tried making pie from scratch before), but I figured I should try my hand at soup. When the recipe read "simmer for 45 minutes", I full-on boiled the poor pot for an hour (to be safe), uncovered (better taste?), and ended up with hamburgtable mush. And plenty of it, since I accidentally doubled the hamburger that the recipe called for, and nothing else. There's still a loaf of those leftovers in the back of my freezer.
But perhaps the greatest story of my cooking achievements is that of 'The Baked Potato Incident', summer of '04: I had carefully prepared the spud by poking a fork through its flesh a safe 57 times and microwaved it. I checked after a few minutes: a tad crunchy, so I cooked it some more. Fifteen minutes later I had a mushy, baked potato, cooked without even turning the oven on!
My roommate asked if she could have a baked potato, too.
"Sure!" I said. "Just press the 'fresh vegetable' button on the microwave."
"Why wouldn't I use the 'baked potato' button?" she asked.
"Because!" I replied, incredulous that she didn't yet know this easy cooking tip, "It's not baked yet!!"
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2 comments:
ba ha ha ha!!!!
I HAVE now made pie. 16 of them. From my very own backyard-apple-trees. We serve a pie at every get together because one delicious pie is too much for two people. We have other 'potluck' only recipes that are delightful but we have to share--and like it when the company leaves before the buffalo chicken dip is all gone. Have you made the soup again? It's tacos tonight, but soup tomorrow, and I think mom's hamburger vegetable soup sounds like a good choice.
I laughed. And then I told Kendra, and she said she was a witness to one of your cooking adventures. Something about cooking Ramen noodles without adding water? Funny...I've done that with EasyMac before...
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