Visit to the Female Dr., Part II

Upon leaving the office of my first female checkup, I realized this was the perfect time to go shopping. And while there are only a few valid excuses for emotional shopping therapy, or EST, this one definitely tops the list (as does: receiving surprisingly large credit card bills, hearing about [yet another] engagement, or gaining 3 pounds) ...among other things.

I decided on the new necessities: bottom underwear and bubble bath. The first was easy, although mildly embarrassing, to decide on. I realize now how much I had grown in my maturity during that doctor's appointment. This was such an easier task for me than it had been previous to conquering the recent said experience. But I still stuck to the 100% cotton section and left the store blushing with receipt in hand.

Next I headed to my favorite bubbly boutique and was greeted with a friendly salesperson. Now I say salesperson, because at first I couldn't quite determine if it was 'Brad' or 'Britney' who was helping me. Salesperson had sort of a stubbly face and bigger build, but the falsetto voice and well-endowed chest made it difficult to decipher his or her gender.

"What are you looking for today?" sweet salesperson asked, offering a pump of lotion to my, apparently dry, hands.
"Ah, I'm looking for some bubble bath, but I'm not sure what scent I'd like."
"Well, we have quite the selection for you to choose from. Is there anything in particular that you like?"
"Hm, well I like peppermint and vanilla-- nothing flowery or fruity though."
"Do you like the smell of oranges?"
"Oh NO! Definitely not! I'm thinking more of an 'Ocean Breeze' scent, or something of that nature."
Salesperson began handing me every jar, bottle and vial that held bubble bath or bubble soap or bubble gel.
"What about this one?"
"Too Christmas-y."
"This one?"
"Ah, too coconut-y."
"Oooh, I love this one. Do you like this?"
It reminded me of a past boyfriend it was so musky and...
"Do you like it?"
"Um, well..."
The only word that came to mind to describe why I didn't like the scent was that it was 'masculine'. A terrible term in this situation. Instead I opted for: "It kind of reminds me of my father."
"Alright, something different then. How about this one?"
The next one smelled like something Sarah Jessica Parker or Celine Dion would label as their creation-- a completely feminine and flirty smell.
"Ah, it's a little too-- what's the word... flowery?"

Another customer came in and salesperson turned to go, "Just give me a holler if you need anything."
"Sure!" I said, "Thank you so much for your help. Um, what's your name?"
"Britney" she smiled.
I nodded and continued smelling each scent.

In the end I opted for 'Mandarin Madness' or 'Clementine Clean' or something like that. It turns out it was the very first bottle Britney had given to me to smell. As she handed me my purchase she told me it looked like I could use a relaxing night.

I didn't tell her why I was on the EST shopping trip... I'm still not sure she or he could empathize.